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Financial discipline is one important character couples must develop and consistently apply in marriage. It is not rare to see financial challenges posing layers and chains of conflicts between couples as a result of one partner’s financial recklessness or indiscretion that goes on to have ripple effects on the home. Finance crisis has split more homes than it has built; and this can be attributed to couples’ lack of financial discipline and money management. It is interesting to even note that before marriage, some couples are ignorant of their partner’s financial habit and even if they had observed a pattern of financial irresponsibility or imprudence; they shove it aside as inconsequential, only to get it into marriage and discover how much of a problem it is.
The value of every relationship is highly dependent on the peace inherent therein. In other words, the more peace there is in a relationship, the more enabling the atmosphere for exchange of value that enriches both partners. Be that as it may, and as being reflected in the foregoing editions of this series, peace does not come on its own to stay in a relationship, it only answers to deliberate efforts by both partners to merit its existence.
In a marital relationship, the process to getting peace is an everyday commitment, one that starts even before the marriage itself. And that is why it is necessary to explore one very crucial detail some couples fail to foresee how it could become a hydra-headed problem in marriage if not avoided.
7. Financial Recklessness
Financial discipline is one important character couples must develop and consistently apply in marriage. It is not rare to see financial challenges posing layers and chains of conflicts between couples as a result of one partner’s financial recklessness or indiscretion that goes on to have ripple effects on the home. Finance crisis has split more homes than it has built; and this can be attributed to couples’ lack of financial discipline and money management. It is interesting to even note that before marriage, some couples are ignorant of their partner’s financial habit and even if they had observed a pattern of financial irresponsibility or imprudence; they shove it aside as inconsequential, only to get it into marriage and discover how much of a problem it is.
You are always going to make financial decisions as adults — every day, every week, every month. And right from the wedding ceremony and other finance-required activity while courting, this aspect of you both gets to be known, offering an opportunity offered to learn each other’s financial tendencies and tailor to that of peace and responsibility.
From the wedding ceremony, ensure that your financial decisions are not ones that will bring more problems than peace to you. Plan its staging based on your financial capacity while bearing in mind other expenses you both still have to foot after the ceremony.
Have an understanding of what is priority to you and what is not, so you don’t end up ploughing money into ventures that you cannot afford.
Have an open communication about family expenses like the children’s school, transportation, feeding among others; and tailor your meeting these needs based on your capacity.
Talk about outside ceremonies from friends, family members, neighbours, colleagues that require some financial commitment and have an understanding on what is off limit and what is within limit in order not to undermine the family’s financial stability.
Talk about financial expectations, financial contributions, financial inflows and outflows; let the conversation be open and honest without anything held back so as to have you both, in sincerity, plan wisely your finances to promote the prosperity in the home and preserve peace.
A lot of people know no peace in their marriage because of finances. And often it is not because of the lack of it, but because of the lack of management and understanding with their spouse. It is important that before marriage, intending couples have an honest conversation as explained above about money management. This will go a long way to evade financial troubles and tirades that can make spouses strangers to each other under the same roof. And if you are in marriage, and you are struggling with the financials of your home in regards to management and understanding with your wife, the first set of things you both need to do is to come out open to each other, forgive each other of past wrongdoings and commit yourself to getting it right together as regards family financial management. From hereon, you could then seek financial expert advice if there is much of a problem beyond transparency and understanding.
A home with financial peace is on a different layer of deep peace.
God bless your union!
1 Thessalonians 3:12: May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you.
Prof. Ofonime Emmanuel Bassey is a Security, Peace and Conflict Resolution Coach with decades of experience in the practice and promotion of Law Enforcement, Peace and Security through the Nigeria Police and the United Nations.
He is an advocate of Peace Leadership and Child Protection.
He has served and interacted at the top level management of the Nigeria Police as well as internationally as a United Nation’s Monitor/Mentor in Kosovo, Europe.
A professor of Peace Advocacy and Conflict Resolution, Dr. O.E Bassey is a certified United Nation’s Trainer, and currently the Director of ICOF Institute of Leadership, Peace and Conflict Resolution in Africa.
With his marks well-established in Peace Leadership both in Nigeria and Africa. Currently, he is the President, NISSI Safety Management Institute: An Institute of Peace Leadership.
Presently, he is spearheading a campaign tagged “The Next Peace Leaders”, a campaign that is billed to run from 2022-2023 with a target of training 37,000 young peace leaders.
For peace and security tips, consultations and trainings, reach him via:
Facebook: Dr. O.E Bassey
LinkedIn: Dr. O.E Bassey
Twitter: Dr. O.E Bassey
WhatsApp: +2347065828892
Mail: EmmanuelBassey@gmail.com
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