Marital Peace (II) — Our Security, Our Peace by Prof. O. E Bassey

Ephesians 4:2-3

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

But not to worry, it is not a utopian quality that cannot be achieved. As detailed from the first part of this series, there are significant factors responsible for the existence and promotion of peace in the home. We continue thus:

3. Service

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” Philippians 2:3-7

For peace to reign in a home, complex issues must be gotten rid of. Both husband and wife must see themselves as equal and with humility serve one another by looking out for each other’s interest. It is not a union where only one person gives and the other just takes. Both parties must commit themselves to continual giving that makes for a happy couple.

4. Unity

“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1

The power of unity is the armour of every peaceful marriage. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help. Again, if two lie together, they keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone?”. In Matthew 18:20, God says, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there among them”.

Unity is one of the nightmares of the devil. It scares him when two of God’s people come together to be in consonance to a shared purpose. Defeating one is not as easy as defeating two, plus it is even an impossible mission for whoever dares as God’s presence is predominant wherever two is.

Achieving unity is a conscious effort couples must commit themselves to in order to enjoy the peace that unfolds out of it. It is very easy to get carried away with individuality in a marriage that you neglect your partner in things they should also be aware and involved. The devil is tricky, just like he was to Eve, to want to isolate you from your partner in some decision making, thereby breaking the unity that is the soul of your union. You must guard against this and ensure your partner is carried along in every significant and insignificant decisions you make. Cutlivate the habit of communicating with them about everything and anything, keeping them abreast of your moves, wins, failures, frustrations, ambitons, plans. You are better off having a partner to share these with than none — remember two are better than one.

5. Meekness

Matthew 5:5 Blessed are the meek, For they shall inherit the earth.

One of the few unsung virtues is the character of meekness. It is not uncommon to get advice such as ‘you don’t take it easy with her’, ‘you should confront him’, ‘you need to fight for what you want’, ‘you need to show you are the man of the house’ — these advice are in their numbers because the world has been tricked that aggressiveness and grit produce faster result but often as we see in hindsight this result has put many behind bars, made many lonely, send many to their early graves, because rather than addressing a situation meekly and tactly (which would consider in the next series), they will rather go in with force and violence, wanting to subject their partners to their own interest without recourse to their partners yearning need.

Wars, conflict, face-offs take place because an aggrieved party allow themselves to be driven by the hurt perceived and felt from the accused party. They get blinded by the pains and anger from the hurt such that peaceful resolution of the grievance through non-violence communication which meekness promotes does not occur to them. They only want to get their sense of importance back not minding how which only produces unpredictable result.

With meeknesss, the Bible said, you are assured of being blessed. Peace is a blessing, meekness is a route.

Prof. Ofonime Emmanuel Bassey is a Security, Peace and Conflict Resolution Coach with decades of experience in the practice and promotion of Law Enforcement, Peace and Security through the Nigeria Police and the United Nations.

He is an advocate of Peace Leadership and Child Protection.

He has served and interacted at the top level management of the Nigeria Police as well as internationally as a United Nation’s Monitor/Mentor in Kosovo, Europe.

A professor of Peace Advocacy and Conflict Resolution, Dr. O.E Bassey is a certified United Nation’s Trainer, and currently the Director of ICOF Institute of Leadership, Peace and Conflict Resolution in Africa.

With his marks well-established in Peace Leadership both in Nigeria and Africa. Currently, he is the President, NISSI Safety Management Institute: An Institute of Peace Leadership.

Presently, he is spearheading a campaign tagged “The Next Peace Leaders”, a campaign that is billed to run from 2022-2023 with a target of training 37,000 young peace leaders.

For peace and security tips, consultations and trainings, reach him via:

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