I retitle this article as “the most profound advice a good and a loving and responsible mother can ever give her children.
To just title it, “The Family Meeting’ is to miss the point and to trivialize the true meaning and purpose of the article.
I confess to being deeply moved by the article sent to me by one of my junior brothers in Nigeria whose maturity and spiritual growth as a grown-up adult has given me so much joy and sense of fulfillment as his eldest son and the “Daodu” of our family and Dynasty in Akure our ancestral home in Nigeria.
I thought the best thing I could do after reading it is to first of all share the article with all of my direct children and grandchildren scattered all over the world, and all of my contacts all over the world who can learn something from it to improve how they relate to their fathers, if they have not been meeting their fiduciary and God-ordained obligations to their fathers in particular because sooner or later they themselves are going to turn mothers and fathers.
They should all remember that what goes around comes around. If they have not yet experienced what the article is talking about, very soon it is going to be their turn.
*THE FAMILY MEETING*
My mother did something astonishing and unexpected. She sent us a message for an urgent family meeting at the family house. Four of us gathered there, but surprisingly, Mama didn’t welcome us with her usual warmth. Though she responded to our greetings, we could all sense the coldness in her voice.
Even my father was surprised to see all his sons, and he questioned Mama about the reason for the meeting. However, she told him to wait patiently and find out why.
Mama thanked us for leaving our busy schedules to respond to her call. “But I want you all to know that I am not a happy woman. You have all offended me. Anyone who offends my husband offends me.”
My father tried to say something, but Mama communicated with him through her eyes, and he just smiled without speaking.
“I don’t know about my other siblings, but I know I haven’t offended you or Papa in any way,” my elder brother said.
“Really?” Mama responded.
“I’m sure, Mama.”
The rest of us also reassured her in the same way. She sighed and then smiled sadly.
“When was your father’s birthday?” she asked.
We all looked at each other with guilt on our faces.
“Yesterday!” I said.
“If I can remember correctly, not a single call or SMS came from any of you to him. But you wouldn’t forget mine. If it were my birthday, you would have posted it on your social media handles, including your wives. I would have received calls from all of you, and my account would be overflowing. I have watched this for years, and I won’t allow it to continue,” she said.
My father shifted in his chair, clearly surprised by the reason Mama called for the meeting.
“Is there any month you fail to send me money? But how many of you remember to do the same for my husband, or is he not your father? Even when I am not asking, you send me money. What about my husband? How can you show care and love for me and look at my husband as a stranger? In fact, stop sending me anything! You have your father’s phone number, yet when you call me, you say, ‘Send our regards to our father.’ What nonsense!
We became uncomfortable because she was speaking the truth. I remembered how we celebrated her birthday. In fact, I personally invited a saxophonist to play for her.
“Who do you think paid your school fees? Are you all not graduates? Who paid the rent before we moved into our own home? My husband ensured that food was always on the table. Should I mention the other bills he handled? I supported him in the way I could. He was always busy making money, and when he was home, he took you out and was part of your lives. You think he didn’t try? You think he doesn’t deserve your love and attention? Oh! You think it’s only the mother that deserves to be pampered, and your dad should be treated like trash? No way! Not my husband.”
Mama wiped away the tears that escaped her eyes.
“So you planned to celebrate my husband in death, buying many cows to make people believe that when he was alive, you all cared. Thank God you are all men with children who are growing. Whatever you sow is definitely what you will reap. You think my husband doesn’t cry? He doesn’t feel pain? Of course, you wouldn’t know.”
Mama stared intently at all of us before wiping away another tear that slipped down her cheek.
“I’m not going to be among the group of women who make their husbands irrelevant before their children, who tell their children lies about their father, making it seem as if the man didn’t play any significant role in the lives of the children. I know there are men who are bad and irresponsible. I’m not talking about such ones. No role played by a father is small, and I won’t allow you to take my husband for granted. This man here is a lion, my crown, the king of my heart, and at 75, he still makes my heart flutter and race. None of you will trample on him,” she said, raising her voice.
While we were still speechless and trying to absorb all she had said, she stood up abruptly and went to her room. She soon returned with my father’s car key and her purse and took my father’s hand.
“Let’s go,” she said without my father objecting. He just stood up and followed her.
“To where?” my siblings asked in unison.
“I’m taking my husband on a date to celebrate his birthday.”
“But Mama…”
She silenced us with her eyes. It was obvious she wasn’t giving us an opportunity to say anything.
“Lock the door and gate and take the key along with you,” she instructed my elder brother. “I have a spare key.”
They entered the car, and Mum drove off. We, the children, had our own meeting and agreed that we had made a mistake. We knew we were not returning to our own homes without settling things with our mother. We called our wives and told them we might sleep over at our parents’ home because we didn’t know when they will return.
It was almost 7:30 pm when Mama drove into the compound. She wasn’t surprised that we were still around, but Dad was. One by one, we apologized to our parents and promised to change. Mama went to her bedroom and returned with a bible. She opened the book of Ephesians and read chapter 6:2 which says ‘Honour your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with a promise.
“The Bible doesn’t say honour only your mother and forget your father. Beautifully, this commandment comes with a promise. In verse 3, it says, ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”
Mama took her time to expand on this Bible verse, opening our eyes to what we had never known. At the end, she asked Papa to pray for us. He was so excited that he prayed a heartfelt prayer.
We couldn’t return home but chatted late into the night. I must mention that Mama prepared us a sumptuous meal.
Dear reader, Don’t wait until Father’s Day or Papa’s birthday to celebrate him. Pick up your phone and give him a call. Don’t forget him in your life.
*Wives celebrate your husbands.* Don’t join those women to incite their children to hate their fathers. *Don’t turn your children against your husband.*
Family relationships are precious and should be nurtured and celebrated continuously. Don’t wait for a special occasion to show your love and gratitude to your parents; do it every day.
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