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“Again, no adults grow up to be violent, if not having been learnt from childhood. They see their parents often engage in scuffles, they see their elder ones uncouth and cursive with their words, they see their neighbours retaliative; it is as though everywhere you turn to in the neighborhood, there is a sweeping stamp on ‘vawulence’ like they say in local parlance, as such, the impressionable kids embrace it to be a standard way of life and exhibit such behaviours over time which in turn creases into a habit; and then we cry blue murder when reality dawns on us.”
It is not uncommon to find even children these days involved in acts of unrest, brawls and violence that are antithetical to peace-living. You might even be shocked that undergirding these behaviours are the parents themselves who would most likely berate their innocent kids for not retaliating.
“And you could not beat him back, as big as you are”, “What did you do when he slapped you: can’t you slap him back?” “Next time, you abuse his mum like he abused your mother.” These get passed down to kids in the pretext that such violent acts make one strong, superior and fearless among their peers.
If not exorcized, these behaviours snowball into habits as the child grow, and if they are lucky, they end up not being a murderer or incapacitated another child before they clock 18. Then we wonder why we have men who grow up to assault their wives, we wonder why we have bosses who are abusive to their employees, we wonder why we have friends who are often belligerent. They apparently didn’t wake up one morning and decided to take on such harmful behaviours. It is a function of repeated behaviours the society never deemed fit to nip when in its bud.
Just recently was a case of a 10-year-old mishandling a pistol owned by his grandfather. The report claimed that the boy, while his grandpa was away, shot his friend – a 12-year-old boy – while reenacting scenes from a movie to prove in reality that a spiritual bulletproof charm works. This tragic incident splinters in two ways: one, the unchecked access to violent movies granted to the two children, and two: the exposure of the child to a lethal tool like a gun. The child definitely must have seen his grandfather with the gun on several occasions, as such; when his grandpa was away, thought it an auspicious moment to practice what he has been seeing guns used for.
Another incident of a 16-year-old who pounded his father to death with a pestle for physically assaulting his mother also got in the news recently. Violence will always begets violence, and chances are more that the boy must have been enduring episodes of brawls between his parents, and on that fateful day, could not have any of it any longer, as such, lurched at his father with a pestle and pounded him to death in anger and frustration that typically beclouds judgment in a violent ambience.
Again, no adults grow up to be violent, if not having been learnt from childhood. They see their parents often engage in scuffles, they see their elder ones uncouth and cursive with their words, they see their neighbours retaliative; it is as though everywhere you turn to in the neighborhood, there is a sweeping stamp on ‘vawulence’ like they say in local parlance, as such, the impressionable kids embrace it to be a standard way of life and exhibit such behaviours over time which in turn creases into a habit; and then we cry blue murder when reality dawns on us.
One interesting thing about today is that it is a precursor to what tomorrow will be. You don’t put corns to the soil and anticipate to harvest yams. We often forget this dynamic about life that we are overwhelmingly carried away with what we gain today that we forget that those who will live tomorrow saw what we did today to acquire what we gained today.
The 2023 elections may have come and gone, and some acts that were on display that never hinged on peace living, left unpunished and unrebuked, but the truth is they never left without their impacts. Plus we’ll be deceiving ourselves to believe that our children never saw what happened despite not being of electorable age. This is where it starts from – from us – adults, to be a beacon of the tomorrow we want to have, lest we cry foul of the mayhem our society has turned into.
From the home, to the community, to the churches, to the mosques, to the schools, there is a social responsibility, as adults we are obliged to, to live in peace, knowing that this in turn is teaching – in words and actions – the young ones what brand of life they should lead for a prosperous existence on earth.
Children will always follow the footsteps of older ones. They hold them to be demi-gods, and their acts viewed as examples to be duplicated. They are vulnerable, they are impressionable, they are delicate. And while we want a good life for them, while we want them to be the lawyers, the techie, the creatives, the nurses, of tomorrow, their chances to be all that are corrupted when they live in an environment that reeks of violence – verbal, physical.
Proverbs 22:6 : Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
You can learn more about promoting peace and looking out for the best interest of your child from my book, The Child’s Best Interest co-authored with my wife, Dr. C.V Bassey, an certified educationist.
There is also a training course to this end, PEACE LITERACY AND CHILD’S PROTECTION COURSE which you could enroll for as a parent to see to the protection and promotion of your child(ren)/wards.
The course is flexible, mobile; and can be adapted to fit into your schedule.
Professor Ofonime Emmanuel Bassey is a Security, Peace and Conflict Resolution coach with decades of experience in the practice and promotion of Law Enforcement, Peace and Security through the Nigeria Police and the United Nations.
He is a professor in Leadership, Peace and Conflict Resolution, a certified United Nation’s Trainer, and currently the Director of ICOF Institute of Leadership, Peace and Conflict Resolution in Africa.
Prof. Bassey has served and interacted at the top-level management of the Nigeria Police as well as internationally as a United Nation’s Monitor/Mentor in Kosovo, Europe.
With his marks well-established in Peace Leadership both in Nigeria and Africa, he is currently the President, NISSI Safety Management Institute: An Institute of Peace Leadership.
To his many humanitarian acts, he currently spearheads a campaign tagged “The Next Peace Leaders” billed to run from 2022-2023 with a target of training 37,000 young peace leaders.
For peace and security tips, consultations and trainings, reach him via:
Facebook: Dr. O.E Bassey
LinkedIn: Dr. O.E Bassey
Twitter: Dr. O.E Bassey
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