No man gets to the position of power, influence, wealth, and success by being a weakling. Any woman who tries to make him look like one will be neglected and treated poorly when she needs him the most, no matter the level of love that may exist or may have existed between them.
Since the issue of Naomi and the Ibadan stampede happened, I haven’t written anything on my wall about it. However, I sincerely feel pity for her because she’s someone I’ve known right from Akure for over 16 years. It’s worth saying that this Christmas giving isn’t a new thing, she’s been doing it for a very long time, even before she got married to the King.
If you’ve been on my page for a while, you’ll know that I’ve lauded Naomi and written in support of her many times because I like her a lot. But that doesn’t mean I’m unaware of some lapses in how she handled certain things poorly.
Since this issue started, one frequent statement I’ve come across on several social media posts and comment sections is why the King hasn’t said anything or come out publicly to fight for her or throw his weight behind her. Sorry to say this, but I do not expect the King to do so, and it would be a disgrace for him to even make such a move. I, as a person, and many other wise people, know that the King does not need to say anything publicly to support her or to help the ugly situation.
Also, people who are concerned about the King talking and throwing his weight behind her in public now are forgetting that she is no longer his wife, she is an ex-wife. Her resolution method with the King wasn’t handled rightly or wisely. Before you can expect a certain reaction from a certain person during a specific situation, you should first look at the antecedents of their relationship and its dissolution.
Mind you, Naomi isn’t the first wife to leave the King. The one whom we thought would cause drama or speculation on the internet handled the situation even better. Till now, none of us can even tell what went wrong between them. The King’s honor was preserved, and his dignity wasn’t dragged into the open by the woman he once loved.
In the life of every powerful man, there are people who are allowed to disrespect him, see him as ordinary, and talk to him anyhow, these are usually his wife or wives or girlfriends. Since he shares his nakedness with them, the greatest level of familiarity exists between a man and a woman who sleep together. However, there’s a clause to this disrespect, it is only permitted when you two are alone behind closed doors. The moment a woman makes such a man appear weak in public, she loses her place, relevance, and respect in his eyes.
If not for the current state of Yoruba culture, which has been eroded by wokeism, social media attention, and optics, how dare the Queen of the Ooni of Ife dissolve her marriage with him on the internet? How dare you disgrace a god and a deity on the internet? In case you don’t know, the Ooni of Ife is the number one citizen of the Yoruba race. He is a god and a deity that should be worshipped. You can share your nakedness with him in private, tap his head in private, and call him whatever names you choose, but you cannot disrespect him in the eyes of the people in the palace, let alone the entire world on the internet.
The decadence in our culture is the reason why our queens now parade themselves as TikTok queens with vibes and paparazzi. It’s the decadence in our traditions that allows a man like Portable to be sleeping with an ex widdow of the Alaafin of Oyo. It’s the same decadence that has gotten into the heads of another queen, enabling her to announce her son as the double crown prince on social media without any sense of decorum, class, or poise.
Being with any man who falls into the above-described category, whether a first-class king, a high-net-worth individual, or an influential and wealthy man, requires a level of decorum, carriage, and even a way of living. It’s an institution. Marrying any of these men comes with a heavy weight to carry, and this is why I said only a few women are made for this life. You think you are, but you’re not. You only know about the luxury and attention that come with being married to them, but there’s much more.
Being with men of that nature requires a level of smartness and foolishness when you’re with them and even when you’re no longer with them. Oh, you’re confused about the word foolishness, right? Only a bigger fool can have a successful marriage to men up there, I mean, the powerful, the with and the mighty. A smart yet foolish woman. That’s a topic for another day, let’s move forward.
For those who are really concerned about whether the King has spoken or not, I’ll say you didn’t pay attention. If you did, you’d know that he already spoke, even if not directly. The palace released a statement, and for the very first time since she left the palace and referred to her as “Miss Naomi Ogunseyi” even when her name still reads “Queen Ogunwusi” on her social media pages. When you know you’ll still need the name, you wouldn’t have rubbishe it on the internet.
She might have apologized to the King in private, but the King actually disgraced her in public, just as she did to him. In the statement released, she was addressed as “Miss Naomi Ogunseyi,” her real father’s name. You may not think much of it, but that’s the palace publicly disassociating itself from her. That’s the King telling you she’s not his wife, she’s not his responsibility, and her dent should not be rubbed on the palace.
This is why we always tell people to be very careful about bringing their dirty laundry to wash in public. This is why we kick against using social media to sort out issues related to marriage or other important life matters. There are bridges you don’t burn, moves you don’t make, and decisions you don’t take when dealing with a high-net-worth man as a woman.
Take it or leave it, men have egos. It’s a whole different thing when you’re dealing with an all-sufficient man whose presence in your life is a plus to your reputation and overall personal brand. Imagine a woman coming on social media to break up with Dangote, Tony Elumelu, Rabiu, Ogunlesi, the Emir of Kano, or the Sultan of Sokoto, and then expecting them to publicly support her in a time of need just because they once loved her or still do? That must be foolish of anyone to even think. Men like this didn’t get to that position by being weaklings and by being emotional. Even with their love, they can still let you suffer to teach you a lesson. This is why I said the Ooni of Ife doesn’t need to say anything before pulling strings to help her. However, he sent a message to the public to disgrace her same way she did to him.
By the time she’s out of this trouble, which I believe she will, she should change her name across her social media platforms. She’s not the Queen to the King, and she’s no longer an Ogunwusi. That press release from the palace sent a clear message.
As a lady currently in a relationship with a high-net-worth man or individual, have some sense. There are things I tell the ladies in my inner circle that I can’t say here on the internet. There’s much more to it than you think.
I like Naomi, I’ve known her for years, and I don’t judge her for leaving the King. It’s her life and her decision. But no one should expect a man she disgraced publicly to support her publicly.
Setfini.
God bless you Tadé Makinwa
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