In a long and detailed post to Facebook, a Nigerian lady has recounted her gut-wrenching life story, where she chronicled how her life and marriage were ruined by her own father.
At the beginning of her story, the lady Awele Ideal, explained why she had decided to break her silence. She revealed that her father, 12 years after disowning her now lies sick and bedridden and was trying desperately to reach out to her to make amends.
She revealed how he had selfishly put an end to her marriage because her husband did not meet his standards. How her stepmother had mistreated her for several years and how the father had finally disowned her after causing her so much pain and heartache.
In her story, she reaffirmed that while she had forgiven him years ago, she had no intention of ever seeing him again as he did not deserve it. She mentions that she is putting herself first and has forever cut ties with him.
The post was an indirect message to her father, and also a way of sharing her story with the world. Many have likened her story to a Nollywood drama, with all its twists and turns, with some even doubting if all she wrote was true.
She wrote;
“Dear Father, I was told this evening that you want me to call you but I told the Messenger to tell you that I won’t call you because I don’t want to have anything to do with you and I don’t care to know what you want to say to me on your sick bed. I forgave you long ago. I sincerely forgave you and everyone who contributed to all the torture and heartbreaks I had experienced in my life.
It’s been 12years since you did your worse against me for no reason at all just because you hate to see me happy. 12 years ago, you returned my Brideprice unprovoked. My Ex husband and I never wronged you in any way. Our only crime was that we were not as rich as your other children and in-laws and so you practically turned my husband (Ex) into your slaveee and for just the one time he refused to run an errand for you because he felt disrespected by the way and manner your message was delivered to him
You my father had told my younger sister (step) to call my Husband (Ex) and tell him to go and organize the water that will be used for cooking in her traditional marriage.I could remember vividly how he took that message on that fateful day. I was bathing my then 4months old Baby ChukwuMemofuma when my Ex stormed the bathroom stammering in anger that he has never been disrespected in this manner. I begged him to calm down and to put the blame on me because such insult won’t come if he wasn’t married to me, I also begged him to allow me speak to my so called step sister who delivered such disrespectful message to him without regarding my feelings or consequencesof her action (how will she regard me when I was nothing but a mere slave to her Mom my stepmother while growing up) I begged him to put all the blame on me cos his marrying me didn’t affect how they disrespected or disregarded me even though I am the firstborn child of the family.
I later called my stepsister to tell her that she was wrong to disrespect my husband that way and that she ought to have called me instead and I would have gladly assisted her with the errand. She argued seriously with me but later agreed to apologize to my Ex for peace sake. An apology I appreciated but little did I know that after my Ex left me while bathing our baby, and he called You my father to express his displeasure for sending him such an errand through your young(est) daughter, someone who is the 4th child while me his Ex wife is the 1st child of the family.
You my Father apologized to my husband (Ex) for your disrespect and that made him calm. But little did we know that you had prepared the worse for us because that same day you took money to my in-laws house and flunged the envelope of money at my Father inlaw and told him that his son my husband (Ex) is no longer your inlaw and that if your daughter (me) wants to remain in that marriage that I stand disowned.
On hearing this ugly incident my heart broke a million times I went to my village to report to your brothers who followed me to my laws place but the only condition my angry in-laws gave them was for them to tell you to come back and pick up the money you threw on the floor of the old man’s house. But till date you failed to do it and called their bluff. I stood by my husband (Ex) and was determined to make our marriage work, but no matter how much I tried, sand sand don already enter my Garri and my husband (Ex) and inlaw isolated me for the disgrace and shame they claimed I brought on them through my father’s conduct.
I managed to remain in my already shaky marriage and even decided to have one more child cos maybe that will unit us again but even the arrival of my last princess (Kasimma) could not bring back peace and love to my marriage. After suffering in silence for two more years, coupled with the drastic and ugly changes in the character of the man I once married, I decided to leave EVERYTHING I had ever worked for behind. And I picked up myself and my 3 Daughters and left my marriage with the little dignity I had left in me. I was only 31 years old, afraid to face the Future and I was hopeless at the time I took this bold step.
Father, you were not only an Enabler to the maltreatment I endured in my stepmom’s hands, your own wickedness on me was worse. And I swore several times that in my next life I will not cross paths with you even as a mere passerby because I won’t want to throw greetings at you. You hated me for no reason even though all I ever showed you was respect and submission as your daughter.
Two weeks after I left my marriage, I sent you a THANK YOU TEXT. Thanking you for your role and contribution towards the destruction of my once sweet marriage. You never responded to it. Only your Mother stood by me and you hated her for speaking the truth against you… That’s why I Love Grandma
I later prayed God to help me heal my tender heart and to give me the grace to forgive you and everyone who had stabbed me with unkindness and wickedness. God answered my prayer and gave me the closure i desperately needed and helped me to be able to forgive everyone and moved on with the broken pieces of my life… I moved on ALONE WITH MY 3 Daughters who were just 7, 5 and 3 years olds.
I got the closure I desperately needed from God. I got the healing I needed from God. I got the courage to face life again from God. God has been my only true source of strength till date I owe God so much.
Thank You Father, for without your hatred I wouldn’t have stumbled on my inner strength. So I FORGIVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. However, I am not your child Sir, you disowned me in 2012 when I chose to stand by my husband (Ex) and fight for my marriage because he never deserved the disrespect you meted at him and you had no right to shut him up from expressing his displeasure. Unfortunately, we finally Divorced and I’m in a better place today with my peace of mind intact.
To show that I forgave you a long time ago, when you celebrated your 70th birthday in 2022, I asked for your account details from one of your children and I sent you a big sum of money and a text message but you never acknowledged it or responded to my message even though you bragged about my gift but you never told me a “Thank you”. I did not regret being kind to you once more despite all you put me through but I made up my mind NEVER TO LOOK AT YOUR DIRECTION ANYMORE.
Thank you Father, but I won’t call you. I hear you are terribly sick and bedridden but I won’t visit you or call you. Keep whatever you want say, I don’t want to hear it. I wish you well Father. God be with you Sir.
I will stop here for now because I’m already writing a Book about my life to tell my Story. But I pray you see this before it’s too late.
NB: Let none of you piss me off with unsolicited advice on this post. If you try it, i will send you to my Block Industry straight. Be Warned.
#AweleChukwukaumemma“
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