MY EXCITING ONE YEAR OF SERVICE IN VOICE OF NIGERIA By: MALLUM, Manomsi Wasona.

By: MALLUM, Manomsi Wasona.

“Where is your ID card??”

And here we go again!!! You’d expect that after frequently seeing me everyday, the guards are suppose to recognize me already and drop all these formalities. Although I wear sunshades and nosemasks that hides my face, shouldn’t they be able to tell so far that in this station, only one person pulls off this stunt, shouldn’t they already recognize me as the glasses and nose mask girl? But noo!!! If you think about it, would I actually leave my house and the comfort of my bed very early in the morning if I wasn’t working here???

Prepared for their questions, I immediately pulled out my ID card which I had held in my hand even before pulling out of the car.

“Good Morning sir” I said, with a smile that was shielded by my facemask.

Of course, they didn’t have plans to check it, they just wanted to pick on this poor little girl this early morning.

“Be hanging it on your neck, buy a tag”

I started mumbling some incoherent things under my breath to make it seem like I was giving an explanation which I wasn’t.

He just waved his hand as a sign for me to pass and acknowledged my greetings. I giggled to myself, this has become a daily routine between me and the guards at the gate.

It was a short walk from the gate to the Station entrance. I rolled my eyes expecting another round of questioning.

“Good Morning sir” I greeted the security man at the Office Entrance “Please I’d like to know if anyone has come to pick the key to the SPCD department yet”.

Yep, S.P.C.D Strategic Planning and Corperate Development, that’s the Department I was posted to work under at Voice of Nigeria, being my primary place of assignment for my National Youth Service Year. Then It might leave you wondering,” why was she posted to Voice Of Nigeria and not an Agricultural Institution I mean didn’t she study Agriculture??”. Well, welcome to Nigeria my country, where things don’t always work the way they should, where the giraffe has a short neck and the chicken doesn’t lay eggs.

“Remove your facemask” the Security Officer said.

“Gasp”, how rude!!! there are like a million ways this greeting would have gone. A “hello, how are you doing? Good Morning this morning to you dear” wouldn’t have gone wrong could it??? Infact, a maybe “have this small token and buy yourself something for the day” wouldn’t have gone wrong would it?? Well maybe not the token part, but hey!

With a warm smile I removed my nose mask, greeting him again.

“Good Morning sir”

“Good Morning” he replied.

Well…that didn’t hurt now did it???

“Who are you? A corper, an Intern or a staff member?” He asked.

Sir!sir! sir!..we have been through this a million times, gosh I’m mentally crying.

Without breaking my smile I replied ” A corps member sir” giving my qualification a tush feel to it.

“Why are you covering your face? Do we still have Corona?”

Now, this is always my favourite part of questions like this in my mental imaginative state. It’s where the room gets dark and I close in on the person asking, drawing the chairs closer and in a low scary tone, I give him a little peice of my mind and enlighten him on the different uses of nose mask and the questioner is left sweating with shaky legs. Yep I have some crazy intrusive thoughts.

“Or we are irritating you” he asks again.

Someone get this guy!!! He is not my favorite security man on ground. Why are you on duty today? It should have been the other guard, whose main concern is the woman he is talking to on the phone and not security issues, so it will be me doing the asking and not the other way round. I don’t mean to be a party pooper but sir, why are you wooing a woman around 7am exactly? and who is this woman who rather sacrifices her sleep to talk to a man by 7am, cause I mean you’d be jobless to be doing that very early in the morning, Plus you look married with 4 kids sir. Our conversation with the man is always like this;

“Good Morning Sir, please I’d like to collect the SPCD key”. Here I am once again to interrupt his love talk.

Then he fumbles through all the keys on the table without handing me the keys and relaxes on the chair smiling to himself, replying the caller at the other end of the phone with what in his mind is a low sexy bedroom voice.

“You know God has made it that a man and woman should come together and procreate”.

Excuse you? The only thing that will be procreated here is chaos if you don’t hand me the keys.

“Sir! The keys please”. I’ll say again with a smile

He once again fumbles with the keys on the table and asks me if I’m permitted to collect the key.

“Yes”, I’ll reply calmly

“Don’t you want the love and attention?” He’ll return to his call.

Okay that’s it, I’ve had enough. Normally I love to look for trouble so shall we begin? It’s always my favorite part of the day. I begin to drag unnecessary questions to what I know is the normal routine just to see that annoyance on his face from who is distracting him from his love talk. Two can play this game sir.

“Should I sign here?”.

“Which pen should I use?”.

“What’s today’s date sir?”.

“Please what’s the time?”

“Do your prefer cucumbers or carrots?”.

I continue to do this making him end his call so he can finally focus. That’s right get your head in the game. On a normal day I do all these myself, but you started looking for my trouble first, wasting my leg power standing by calling a woman by 7am. He’ll finally answer me with irritation in his voice, hurrying me away so he can return back to his call. Don’t be like that sir, I’m only trying to help you, she won’t see you as a serious man if you keep calling her by 7am, I’m only trying to protect you and your virtues. I’ll laugh so hard in my head.

“Or are we irritating you” the guard on duty asked interrupting my line of thought.

I laughed in response.

“We don’t give the keys to corpers” he said

I sighed internally, it’s another Friday morning and it’s time to repeat the question and answer session like we didn’t just do that on Wednesday or last week or the week before or since the beginning of the year.

“Yes the officials in the department told me about that, but they told me to tell anyone on desk that I’ve been given permission to be signing in and collecting the keys anytime I’m around”.

He gave me a long look.

“In 3,2,1…”

“Sign here” he said just at the end of my mental count down.

“Booyah”I exclaimed mentally.

“When you are done, collect the key from the cleaner upstairs, they are cleaning the floor.

Signing in, I checked my phone for the time and it was 7:14am.

I inhaled, another 3 hours to go before a department official comes in, but oh well, I get to eat the breakfast I packed in a hurry without feeling uncomfortable, I know what you’re thinking and yes I’m really shy when it comes to eating in public.

“Thank you sir” I smiled, turning around andbegan my ascension on the stairs.

Another victim just walked away alive from my intrusive thoughts. We will get them next time.

After what seemed like 5,432,654 steps I reached the 1st floor. Now one of my favourite set of people in this station are the cleaners. Even though I look like a ninja, these darlings still recognize me regardless of who is on duty.

“Good Morning Ma” I greeted the cleaner on duty with a cheery smile, you know why?? Cause she wouldn’t stress me by 7 am, and of course because she is a really sweet woman too.

“Good Morning dear, how are you?” She smiled back at me, fumbling with the keys inside her pocket and hands it over to me.

Now did I suddenly become a threat cause I suddenly got some office keys? Or Did I start a heist?

Exactly!!! No!!!

“Thank you ma” I said as I walked into the office and did my normal clocking in routine; opened the curtains, took a look at the scenery before me, switched on the air conditioner, took some random pictures of myself, looked around for what seemed different from the last time I was in the office, mentally fought who scattered my chair arrangement from the last day I clocked in, called my family to tell them details that didn’t matter to world peace and last but not the least enjoyed my breakfast without trying to think so much about manners as I guessed who would pop into work first.

While aggressively munching on my fries, I remembered the first day I came into work, on an early Monday morning. Hoping to not be late, I arrived to work as early as 7am, being my first day of work. I wasn’t familiar with anyone and I couldn’t have my repeated conversations with the security officers about whether or not they would give me the key, so I had to stay at the waiting area till 10am all by myself with random greetings to other members of staff who were passing by. I remember texting my Uncle, who also works here by the way, to ask if there was a public holiday or an announcement I didn’t hear about, cause why are people still missing by 10am?? Am I already doing too much??

My Uncle, Uncle Stephen as I call him but popularly known as Mr Stephen Fajonyomi, is a Chief Strategic Officer at VON, was the angel sent to me from above to help me through this journey. I remember how I randomly wrote about my encounter with a little baby on my way back home from a home lesson and my Aunt read it and submitted the write up to him, connected us together and we got talking and he helped me air the story at VON. It didn’t just stop there, he helped me air another and encouraged me to keep on writing and submitting my write ups, he also paved a way for a well deserved interview with my poetry genius sister on the radio program, literary corner, anchored by Miss Mariam Dangogo of VON.

Due to my writing talent and interaction with VON I later opted for VON as a primary place of assignment after the first PPA I was sent to which was the Federal Ministry of Agriculture rejected me, who does that? And after few rejections after that I finally requested for VON and it was granted, can I hear somebody shout Hallelujah!!!

Slowly, the members of staff started trooping into the office with the arrival of the staff bus and I got to meet the officials on duty that Monday. It was a really warm welcome for me, they made me feel like a part of the team already. Mr Stephen being the angel that he is took me on a tour round the broadcasting Corperation, office by office, studio by studio, through every nook and cranny to get me familiar with everyone and each office so I’d know where to run too whenever I needed any help and also for my personal development in my newly discovered writing talent. He was really looking out for my well being and my growth and for that, I’ll forever be grateful to him for.

Though I was placed under the Research and Documentation unitat SPCD, our Head Of Unit by name Mrs Uche had gone on maternity leave by the time I came in so there was really nothing for me to do under the unit for the time being, at least I wasn’t assigned anything. On the other hand the Consultancy Services Unit which is headed by Mr Stephen carried me under their wings.

We went on various partnership meetings with other team members. My first meeting was that to GOTNI leadership Center, where partnership plans between the organization and VON was discussed at length and by at length I mean’t our Head of Department Mr Abdulwarees Solanke kept engaging Dr. Linus Okorie the GOTNI Chairman in a long healthy conversation about what GOTNI is all about. Half of the team had probably dozed off or had gotten distracted one way or the other, and then there was me who was trying to be a serious first timer so I don’t get sacked, haha and that’s not possible. Half of the time I was using to concentrate on what was going on, I was concentrating on trying to concentrate and you could say there was no concentration, I believe it happens to the best of us, but I still did get something out of that meeting like what GOTNI really is, drafting MOU between the two parties, the program procedures, what both parties have to offer and what not.

There was also my second meeting with Mrs Dorothy Esiri the Director of the Director General’s office of Centre for Management Development C.M.D, which was led by Mr Solanke to try and create a partnership between CMD and VON. It was an unofficial meeting with just 3 in attendance , Mr Stephen and me being the other two in attendance. Enquiries were made by the SPCD about their openess to partnering, sabatical leaves, and other mutual benefits between the two parties. An agreement was made that VON would write an official proposal to CMD in which CMD would go through and construct an MOU.

Mr Stephenalso put me through other partnerships that the Department has been working on like NIRSAL and some other names I can’t remember, oops.

The last meeting, no no…I wouldn’t call that a meeting, I would call it an outing to Labor house, was with Mr Solanke and Miss Hannah Tsokwa a Principal Strategic Officer in the SPCD Department. I honestly didn’t know what that outing was about because it was really so brief, but I got to have a little office break, a mini work vacay like I’d call it.I also got to attend a conference hosted by HEDA (Human and Environmental Development Agenda) Resource Centre courtesy to Mr Solanke who personally invited me to be his Personal Assistant for the event and to my surprise he was one of the faciltators for the program. It was all about protecting smallholder farmers and vulnerable Communities from Climate-Related Shocks. He talked about the influence of media and media houses in the development of the project and even made a notable suggestion that HEDA Resources have their own Radio Station which was bought and appreciated by HEDA Resources. At the end of the event he told me he brought me out to expose me on different opportunities there are on ground and around us. I will always appreciate Mr Solanke for always looking out for each and everyone of us and wanting to see that each and every person under his mentorship and around him is doing very well.

On a normal day, I would have my personal self reflection before the members of staff start coming in, dispatch memos, go on errands, get a “Mentorship Talk” from Mr Solanke when he clocks in. They were really nice healthy talks though, long hour talks, while my food was getting cold but I mean things we do for knowledge right, but I’m really grateful for those moments, get teased by Mr Tams who would always jump at every opportunity to rile up Mr Stephen for fun, it’s always funny seeing Mr Stephen’s reaction, Mrs Joy who would chip in one or two to me bless her soul, Mr Orija who would tell me his life experiences and encourage me to rally around other members of staff to learn one or two from them, Mr Jide a very gentle and welcoming man, Mr Henry a sweet soul, Miss Samira a very beautiful woman I must add, Mrs Ojeme a sweet woman Madam Nkechi, Madam Aisha, Madam Chinenye,Madam Grace, Madam Vera and Mr Patrick, who are always warm to me, the corps members Sadiq, Gabriel and Aisha who have been sweet to me, Mr Stephen the all rounder who always makes sure I’m comfortable and wants me to always have something profitable I’m doing such an angelic man and of course I cannot forget…

“Good Morning” Miss Hannah’s Voice brought me back to reality.

“Good Morning ma” I replied with a cheery smile.

Miss Hannah, one of the reasons I’m always happy to go to work on Fridays. Her spirit is just so lively and welcoming. The first time I met her on duty she got me some snacks and was the reason I tagged along to my mini work vacay and she even got me a space in the bus to get back home, I’m squealing, cause oh boy was I broke that day. She is really just the sweetest being and oh did I mention that she speaks so beautifully. Plus, she really inspired me from the last conversation we had and I’m really working on setting things right.

“How are you dear?” She said all smiling, setting her bags on her table.

“I’m doing very well ma’am. You are looking really good ” I said beaming.

“Oh thank you dear, you also look good” she replied.

Well, I don’t know if that was said out of duress, cause I don’t feel my outfit today and I believe my outfit chaos is evident, but I’ll take it.

“Thank you ma” I smiled.

“Lup dub, lup dub”…my heart started beating faster,cleaning my sweaty palms on the hem of my dress, My chair creaked under me as I leaned in on the chair, fondling with my phone as I struggle to submit my report to Mr Solanke. What report you may ask? Everything I’ve been saying from the beginning of this paper. Now this is not how you write a report is it? No it actually isn’t but he gave me the chance to freestyle and I took it unapologetically, I’m happy he did because just imagine not being able to pen down my side remarks, how boring!!. From this report and with the way I write I guess we can figure out that my outer self is way different from my inner self, and I do talk a lot but just inside my head. I may not be great voicing out what is in my head but I do try to do that on paper.

I wish I would really have dived into so many things, but I did this all typing through my phone and it is the most inconvenient thing ever.

“Feigning a cry”.

This was my first take home assignment from him and I didn’t want to be giving excuses on my first, that wouldn’t speak so well of me now, would it? The reasons are genuine, but would he believe me or would he think I’m just trying to be lazy?. After this, I think I can now tell him I don’t have a functioning laptop and then I could come up with all the excuses in this world, haha, but that might be too late now since I am already in my last week of my service year. Well, unless they decide to retain me then I would have further assignments to do for him but for now, here I am saying my goodbyes.

So yeah, I’m about to submit my report, I really hope this goes well for me, say a prayer for me guys cause here goes nothing.

With my hand hovering over the send button and giving it one last look, I clicked the send button. “Your message has been Sent”.

MALLUM, Manomsi Wasona studied Agricultural Extension and rural development at the University of Ilorin and just completed her one year youth service at Voice of Nigeria,