Keith Stammer’s “Operational” Delusional Grandeur The way the cookie crumble

My Yoruba people have this saying: Afẹnu wakọ ki njamu / One who drives a vehicle with his mouth does not get an accident.

 

This funny expression came to my mind as I watched Keith Starmer, the British premier, wax eloquent about deploying British and EU troops to impose a ceasefire on Russia.

 

In many cultures, lying is considered childish – an adult who resorts to lying consciously and deliberately is considered immature. I am always perplexed by the ability of Europeans—please make that Western leaders — to stand up in public and tell barefaced and deliberate lies without any sense of shame.

 

For me, a chapter in Marimba Ani’s “Yurugu,” titled “The Rhetorical Functions of Christian Ethics,” remains the best thesis for explaining this uniquely European phenomenon.

 

I doubt if “Dictators” like Xi or Putin will ever dare to stand in a public tribune and tell their citizens outrageous lies. Their cultures make them prioritize integrity over silly PR optics.

 

If hubris had a face, it would look exactly like the UK Premier Keith Stammer’s bewildered, pencil-pushing expression as he announced his mission to impose a ceasefire on Russia.

 

Any thinking person would ask the logical question: With what will puny Britain impose a military solution on Mighty Russia?

 

With his latest imbecilic outburst, Sir Keith Starmer (or Stammer? Whatever.) leaves no doubt that he has lost his marbles. To begin with, he is an unscrupulous man without education, culture, principles, integrity, morals, or etiquette who was not content with mismanaging a country (an Empire where the sun was not supposed to set) teetering on the brink of economic collapse, drowning in immigration chaos, and thoroughly gutted from the inside with an incomprehensible “Woke” ideological lunacy; he has now declared that the UK, along with its fellow European has-beens, is entering the “operational phase” of its grand military plan – to force a ceasefire on Russia.

 

What a delusion!

 

That this lunatic can make the pronouncement without serious pushback from the media confirms what we have been saying in this blog – Western journalism is a pathetic joke of illiterate, glorified stenographers masquerading as serious media men

 

So, we have Britain, a country that struggles to keep its army above 70,000 troops. The same Britain whose most significant recent “military victory” was a token deployment of ships to the Red Sea that achieved nothing against the Houthis. The same Britain whose war machine has been reduced to TikTok recruitment videos featuring rainbow flags and gender pronouns. Britain now fancies itself capable of forcing Russia – the world’s largest nuclear power, an industrial giant, and a nation forged in the fires of existential warfare – to comply with its dictates.

 

And no one in the UK thinks that this man needs to be put in a straightjacket in a padded cell!

 

While it is true that nations jostle for power, prestige, optics, and the occasional photo-op in the grand theater of global politics, few spectacles are as absurd as Keith Starmer’s recent pronouncements.

 

This man, who seems to have mistaken his role as the leader of a fading imperial Island of Iniquitities, a relic on its last legs for that of a modern-day Churchill, grandly announced an “operational phase” plan to send British and EU troops to impose a ceasefire on Russia.

 

Yes, you read that correctly. Mr Starmer, who presides over a nation that can barely keep its trains running on time, its hospitals staffed, or its economy afloat, now fancies himself the arbiter of peace in Eastern Europe.

 

Wow!

 

The Russian GS must be quaking in fear at the prospect of confronting the Mighty British Imperial Army!

 

The sheer audacity of this delusional pronouncement is staggering. Here we have Mr. Starmer, whose nation’s military might is best exemplified by its fleet of aging tanks and its ever-shrinking navy, and an insane Woke ideology, deciding that Britain—alongside its equally beleaguered and decrepit EU allies – will march into the heart of Russia’s sphere of influence and dictate terms.

 

Horray-hooooray!

 

Is Starmer simply stupid, or has he lost the use of his senses?

 

One does not need a degree in International Relations to know that the UNSC is the only organ empowered by International Law to organize and send an International peacekeeping force. Russia happens to wield a veto in that body.

 

Why did Stammer’s staff not make him aware of this, or why did the truth-seeking British press refuse to ask this question?

 

Whichever we consider it, this is not just hubris; It is a level of self-deception so profound that it borders on the pathological.

 

To show why Starmer’s plan is not only delusional but staggeringly suicidal, we must first compare the two entities he so blithely seeks to confront: Russia and the British/EU alliance.

 

Spoiler alert: it’s not even close.

 

Let us consider the economy, which is the bedrock of national power. Starmer and his ilk love to tout the “strength” of the British and EU economies, but let’s be honest: these are economies built on quicksand. – financialized illusions backed by zero tangibles. The UK, in particular, robbed of its colonial possessions, is a declining nation. Its GDP growth is anemic, its debt levels are astronomical, and its currency has all the stability of a house of cards in a hurricane. The once-mighty pound sterling is now a shadow of its former self, and the City of London, that erstwhile global financial powerhouse, today reels from the double whammy of the ill-advised Brexit and the UK’s global irrelevance.

 

Meanwhile, despite years of unprecedented Western sanctions, Russia has proven remarkably resilient. Its economy, underpinned by vast natural resources and a growing focus on self-sufficiency, has weathered all the storms thrown at it. Far from collapsing into rubbles as Western pundits predicted, the ruble has remained stable. Russia’s gold reserves are among the largest in the world, and its strategic pivot to Asia has opened new markets and opportunities.

 

No, do not take our word for it – the IMF and World Bank figures attest to the strength of the Russian economy. Sometime last year, Russia overtook Germany to become the world’s fourth-largest economy.

 

Energy is the lifeblood of modern economies, and Russia is the world’s largest natural gas exporter and the second-largest oil exporter. The country that Starmer is warming up to fight controls the spigots that keep many European countries warm in winter and their factories running year-round. By contrast, Britain is a net energy importer, reliant on the very nation it now seeks to confront.

 

Starmer and his fellow Chihuahuas in the EU are beyond irony when they try to project power against a behemoth like Russia.

 

Industrial capacity is a critical tool for measuring a nation’s ability to wage war – or, in Britain’s case, to pretend to wage war. The UK’s industrial base is a pale shadow of what it once was. Factories that once churned out Spitfires and tanks have long since been shuttered, replaced by shopping malls and luxury apartments. Britain’s manufacturing sector accounts for a mere 9% of GDP, a pitiful figure that underscores the nation’s transformation from an industrial powerhouse to a financialized service-based hocus-pocus economy.

 

As I write this, British Steel has just announced that it will close its operations in the UK. The country that started the Industrial Revolution no longer produces steel.

 

“All of this is taking place at a time when the UK government is talking tough about “arming up”. Without a meaningful domestic steel industry these ambitions will be difficult to realise.” – https://britishsteel.co.uk/news/british-steel-to-consult-on-proposed-closure-of-scunthorpe-blast-furnaces-rod-mill-and-steelmaking-operation/

 

Russia, on the other hand, has spent the past two decades rebuilding its industrial base. Its defense industry is among the most advanced in the world, producing everything from hypersonic missiles to state-of-the-art fighter jets. Russia’s arms exports are second only to the United States, a testament to its industrial prowess. And let’s not forget its nuclear capabilities, which dwarf those of Britain and the EU combined.

 

Most analysts agree that Russia is the closest thing we have to an Autarkic state.

 

Perhaps the most damning comparison lies in the state of the two country’s infrastructure. Russia’s railways, roads, and ports are modern and efficient, capable of supporting large-scale military operations. Britain’s infrastructure, by contrast, is crumbling. Delays and cancellations plague its railways, its roads are riddled with potholes, and its ports are struggling to cope with the fallout from Brexit. Starmer had no answer when POTUS Trump asked him at their meeting in the White House if he was prepared to stand up to the Russians.

 

What about Britain’s “coalition of the willing”—those valiant European allies who, according to Starmer, are set to march alongside him to glory?

• Germany: Once the industrial engine of Europe, it is now crippled by self-inflicted economic suicide and an army that ran out of ammunition halfway through a military drill. Their tanks are breaking down faster than they can be repaired. Having sanctioned cheap Russian gas that powered its industries at low prices, Deutschland Uber Alles is de-industrializing at a dizzying speed.

• France: Where entire city quarters are burned to the ground by migrant riots while President Macron fantasizes about “strategic autonomy.” The French last military adventure in Mali ended in a humiliating withdrawal.

• Poland: A country whose leadership is so eager for war that they’ve been begging NATO to station more troops on their soil. But their army? Still largely reliant on outdated Soviet-era equipment.

• Italy, Spain, and the rest? Let’s be honest – irrelevant. Gladly, most of them have opted out of Starmer’s fanciful Glorious Crusading Army.

 

It beggars belief that none of the journalists (?) present ask Starmer who will command this ragtag joke of a coalition. Are we talking about British generals who lost to barefooted Taliban in Afghanistan in a 20-year war that ended in abject failure? Or should we expect the tactically brilliant French officers who still dream of Napoleonic glory but were shamefully thrown out of the Sahel?

 

Anyone who follows the Russia/Ukranian war should know that, sans American support, any UK/EU forces deployed to the theatre of war would be annihilated before they even set up base.

 

Any meaningful analysis must consider the two countries’ social fabric.

 

Russia, for all its flaws and imperfections, is a united nation. Its people, hardened by decades of hardship and external pressure, have rallied around their leaders in times of crisis. The sense of national purpose is palpable, and the government enjoys broad support as governments do when the nation faces an existential threat. Russia is a socially cohesive nation where patriotic people believe in their country and are filling recruitment centers.

 

Britain, by contrast, is a nation divided. The Woke ideology that Starmer and his ilk have embraced with such fervor has fragmented society along the lines of race, gender, and class. A culture of grievance and victimhood has replaced the once-proud British spirit of unity and resilience. Once a bastion of proud tradition and rugged discipline, the British military has been infiltrated by divisive ideologies, with recruitment ads now focusing more on diversity quotas than combat preparation. and readiness. The most critical strategic discussion in the Ministry of Defence is whether transgender soldiers should be allowed to wear skirts. The British public, already weary from years of austerity and political turmoil, is unlikely to rally behind a conflict with no clear purpose, strategy, or endgame. The enthusiasm of the warmongering British tabloids is another matter.

 

Britain’s economy staggers under sky-high energy bills, fuel shortages, and an ever-deepening cost-of-living crisis. It is not uncommon for older adults to die in the cold in the UK because they cannot afford their energy bills.

 

Today, the UK is a fractured, bickering mess – a nation obsessed with self-flagellation over its colonial past while its present collapses into irrelevance.

 

Finally, let us consider the military balance. Russia’s armed forces are among the most formidable in the world. Its army is large, well-equipped, and battle-hardened, with recent experience in Syria and Ukraine. Its navy, though smaller than during the Soviet era, is still a potent force, with a fleet of submarines that can strike targets anywhere in the world. And its air force, equipped with advanced fighters and bombers, is more than a match for anything Britain or the EU can muster.

 

According to NATO Sec-Gen Rutte, an industrial powerhouse is currently outproducing the entire NATO bloc in producing shells, missiles, tanks, and artillery. Britain, meanwhile, is struggling to keep up with the maintenance of the few Challenger tanks it sent to Ukraine.

• A vast, battle-hardened military with years of actual combat experience in Syria, Georgia, and Ukraine, equipped with hypersonic missiles, next-generation electronic warfare systems, and deep logistical reserves. Meanwhile, Britain has an army that would struggle to fill Wembley Stadium and a navy whose flagship, HMS Queen Elizabeth, spent most of last year docked due to “mechanical issues.”

 

Britain’s military, by contrast, is a shadow of its former self. Its army is smaller than ever since the Napoleonic Wars, its navy has fewer ships than it did a century ago, and its air force is struggling to maintain its aging fleet of aircraft. Though sizable, the UK’s defense budget is stretched thin by global commitments, leaving little room for modernization or expansion.

 

But perhaps the most telling difference lies in the experience of the two militaries. Russia’s military has fought—and won—numerous conflicts in recent years (Georgia, Chechyna, Syria, now Ukraine), honing its skills in combined arms warfare and adapting to new challenges. Britain’s military, by contrast, has little experience in large-scale conventional warfare, having spent the past two decades engaged in counterinsurgency operations in Iraq and Afghanistan.

 

The idea that British troops could go toe-to-toe with the Russian military is not just fanciful; it is suicidal.

 

Perhaps the most damning indictment of Starmer’s plan lies in its timing. The UK faces many domestic challenges, from a cost-of-living crisis to a looming recession. Its people are struggling, its institutions are fraying, and its global influence is waning. Yet, instead of addressing these pressing issues, Stammer has chosen to embark on a quixotic quest to impose his will on a nation far stronger, far more united, and far more determined than his own.

 

In the annals of political folly, Keith Stammer’s plan will surely rank among the greatest. His is a testament to the hubris of a man who has mistaken his delusions for reality and to the folly of a nation that has forgotten its limitations.

 

It remains a mystery why the British media do not think that the British people deserve better than this lunatic idea by a leader who likes to punch above his weight. Why do the British people not think they deserve a leader who will confront the challenges at home rather than chasing fantasies abroad?

 

Let’s try to imagine the confrontation: A handful of British and European troops, underfunded and under-equipped, march boldly into Ukraine, only to find themselves faced with the full might of the Russian military. Their drones are jammed, their tanks immobilized, their supply lines shredded. And then, a single hypersonic missile from Russia’s arsenal wipes out their command post before they even get a chance to tweet about it. Let’s pray that Mr. Putin remains calm enough not to send one or two of his Sarmat Missiles (read about them here: https://www.livescience.com/how-deadly-satan-2-missile) or, once and for all, decides to put an end to the Island of Iniquities by despatching a Poseidon (look at it here: https://thebulletin.org/2023/06/one-nuclear-armed-poseidon-torpedo-could-decimate-a-coastal-city-russia-wants-30-of-them/) into the general direction of the UK.

 

Keith Stammer’s fantasy of confronting Russia is not just reckless. It is a pathetic display of a country so detached from reality that it does not even recognize its weakness.

 

 

©️ Fẹ̀mi Akọ̀mọ̀‌làfẹ̀(Farmer, Writer, Published Author, Essayist, Polemicist, Satirist, and Social Commentator.)

 

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