Identify and Overcome Harmful Parenting Patterns by Prof. O. E. Bassey 

“Creating an Atmosphere of Peace in Parenting is key. Parenting should foster a peaceful and nurturing environment rather than one of conflict and emotional distress. A peaceful home allows children to develop a sense of security, trust, and emotional stability”.

 

 

 

Being a good mother is a challenging and complex role. While every mother wants the best for her child, some may struggle with their own emotional needs, leading to narcissistic tendencies. We will explore what it means to be a narcissistic mother, the impact on children, and steps to foster a healthier parenting approach.

 

A narcissistic mother is a parent who has an excessive need for admiration, attention, and affirmation, often using her child to fulfill her emotional needs rather than providing a nurturing and supportive environment. However, it is important to note that narcissistic traits exist on a spectrum. Not every self-focused mother has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), but repeated patterns of certain behaviors can be harmful to children.

 

Signs of a Narcissistic Mother includes;

 

Self-centeredness: Prioritizing her own needs, desires, and emotions over her child’s well-being.

 

Emotional unavailability: Being distant, cold, or unresponsive to her child’s emotional needs.

 

Constant criticism: Frequently belittling or undermining her child’s confidence.

 

Lack of boundaries: Disregarding her child’s personal space and independence.

 

Manipulation through guilt or control: Using guilt-tripping or emotional blackmail to influence her child’s behavior.

 

Competition with her child: Seeking validation by competing with her child for attention or success.

 

Lack of empathy: Struggling to acknowledge or validate her child’s feelings.

 

Creating an Atmosphere of Peace in Parenting is key. Parenting should foster a peaceful and nurturing environment rather than one of conflict and emotional distress. A peaceful home allows children to develop a sense of security, trust, and emotional stability.

 

There are consequences of having a narcissistic mother. Growing up with a narcissistic mother can have long-lasting emotional and psychological effects. The consequences include:

 

Low self-esteem manifesting as persistent criticism which can lead to self-doubt and a diminished sense of self-worth.

 

Anxiety and depression being a lack of emotional support may contribute to mental health struggles.

 

Difficulty with boundaries where children may struggle to establish and maintain healthy relationships.

 

People-pleasing tendencies. A desire for external validation can result in a pattern of prioritizing others’ needs over their own.

 

Struggles with emotional regulation manifesting as difficulty in managing emotions due to inconsistent support during childhood.

 

The good news is that adult children of narcissistic mothers Can Heal, yes it is possible. By acknowledging your experiences. Recognize harmful patterns as the first step toward healing.

 

Seeking therapy, professional guidance can help you process past trauma and develop coping strategies.

 

Setting firm boundaries, children can learn to assert needs without guilt or fear of manipulation.

 

They can practice self-compassion, with the understanding that their worth is not dependent on external validation.

 

Building supportive relationships whereby they are surrounded with people who respect and value them for who they are.

 

Another good news is that overcoming narcissistic tendencies as a mother is possible; if you recognize yourself in these signs, it’s not too late to change. Take steps to become a more empathetic and supportive parent.

 

Engage in self-reflection by regularly assess your parenting behaviors and emotional responses.

 

Develop empathy by making a conscious effort to validate and respect your child’s feelings.

 

Respect boundaries by fostering independence, allowing your child personal space and decision-making opportunities.

 

Seek professional help knowing that therapy can help address underlying emotional struggles and improve parenting skills.

 

Practice positive reinforcement by encouraging and uplifting your child rather than focusing on criticism.

 

Show affection and emotional availability by fostering emotional security, being present, supportive, and affectionate.

 

Finally, motherhood is a journey filled with learning and growth. Recognizing and addressing narcissistic tendencies requires self-awareness, courage, and a willingness to change. By focusing on empathy, emotional support, and personal growth, you can build a healthier relationship with your child—one based on love, respect, and genuine connection. May you be continually celebrated as a good and loving mother/father. Creating an atmosphere of peace rather than conflict will help children flourish emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

 

“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” Colossians 3: 21. This applies to mothers as well, emphasizing the importance of encouragement over criticism.

 

Prof. Ofonime Emmanuel Bassey is

Chairman, South South Zone of Police Campaign Against Cultism and Other Vices, a consummate professional with more than thirty (30) years work experience in Consulting, Peace and Conflict Management, Peace Building, Security, Law Enforcement, Academia, United Nation Peace Mission, an Apostolic Bishop, author of more than thirty (30) books, President/Chancellor, NISSI Institute ( www.nissiinsitute.net )

For training and consultation, you can reach him via:

WhatsApp: +2347065828892

Mail: emmanuelbassey@gmail.com