I nearly questioned God after losing wife, daughter – 85-year-old Pa Ejide

85-year-old Pa Silas Ejide, who is father of former Super Eagles goalkeeper, Austin Ejide, tells IKENNA OBIANERI about his growing up, career and family

You recently celebrated your 85th birthday. How do you feel attaining that age?

First and foremost, I am grateful to Almighty God for keeping me alive till this moment. I am now 85 years old. It is by the special grace of God that I attained this age.I am still healthy and strong. I can still to do most regular activities by myself. Most of my siblings, relatives  and friends have gone to be with their maker. I am not better than them, it is only by God’s favour and mercy.

Where were you born and what kind of people were your parents?

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I was born on March 12, 1937 into the family of the late Mr Chimata Isiogodu Ejide of Umu Eze-Umuezenebo, Agulu, Anambra State. My mother, Mrs Hellena Mgbeke Ejide, was born by Ogwuannwa in 1914 and was baptised in Christ Holy Church in 1956. She hailed from Umulum family in Nneogidi, her father was Okoye Enedanya Awaigu. I am married with children. Former Super Eagles goalkeeper, Austin Ejide, is one of my children. I am the Ochiliozua, Odu Agulu.

Was your date of birth recorded?

My father was one of the educated people in my community in those days and he never joked with vital data and information. He wrote the date of birth of his children on the wall and we grew up to see our birth dates.

What fond memories of your childhood years do you have?

My childhood was full of fun at our level then. I grew up under the care of my parents. My elementary school was St. Stephen Church Primary School, which I attended between 1944 and 1946 before proceeding to  standard primary school  at St. Peter Central School, Agulu, where I schooled between 1947 and 1954. My education was sponsored by my late brother, Mr Stephen Ejide.

Immediately after my Standard 6, I was sent to live with an uncle, Mr Peter Anienwelu, in Onitsha where I learnt trade. I later  went to northern Nigeria in 1956 and I was there till 1959. I was a pride of our community then because God endowed me with native intelligence,so, the elders always invited me to their meetings. I was given the responsibility of conveying decisions at the elders’ meetings to the people.  With that, I became the envy of my peers. I was known for being very courageous and truthful. For me, I would rather tell the truth not matter the situation. A lot of people liked me for my honesty.

During that time, our Warrant Chief, Chief Ejiofor Okeke, who was as of then a contemporary of Nnamdi Azikiwe, related to the people of my community through me. So, I was always with him, getting very important information. As I was growing up, I was vigorously equipping myself with relevant and quality information and building knowledge. And this made me stand out among my contemporaries and because of this, a community member, Chief Joseph Okeke Nzeobiwulue, picked me up and introduced me to politics and became my political mentor.I learnt everything taught to me very fast. I treated the elders with respect and humility.

Did you have any particular occupation?

I ventured into business. I was a businessman and I still engage in business. But while growing up, I ventured into politics. I was privileged to serve my people in various capacities.

In what capacities did you serve?

During my active years in politics, I belonged to the Nigerian People’s Party, where I served as the chairman and secretary of Agulu Ward III at different times. I was appointed as Councillor of Ward III by the then Governor of Eastern Region, Ifeanyichukwu Nwobodo. I was elected the councillor for Njikoka/Anaocha Local Government Area based on my pedigree. I was also appointed councillor on April 4, 1988. In Anaocha, my character still speaks for me till today. Later, I joined the Peoples Democratic Party where I served as the Treasurer and Vice Chairman, respectively. Currently, I am in APGA (All Progressives Grand Alliance).

How does politics then compare to politics now?

In those days, the political terrain was seen as service to humanity. It was a convergence of eggheads. During that time, the power was truly with the people; arrogant people didn’t venture into politics; but now, it is a different ball game, politics has been turned into a battlefield where the strongest takes  all and the common people have lost hope and have become voiceless. The people are now at the mercy of the politicians.

The proliferation of political parties also created room for confusion, lawlessness, economic waste, insecurity, killings and total disregard for the people’s welfare. Today’s politics is heartbreaking; it is a rape by moneybags. In those days, people contributed their personal money and seek out honest and accountable people, who would  use their wealth of knowledge to serve the public without looking for pecuniary gains. There was no sharing of money, wrappers and food items to voters. People got into elective positions based on merit and their capabilities.

How would you describe the situation in Igboland during that period?

Living in Igboland in those days was glorious because there was love, brotherliness and shared values. There was respect for the sanctity of life. We had no fence here and there unlike what we have now and there were no fears of kidnappings, killings and cultism. We had respect for our elders and there was great value for our culture and tradition. Life has really changed so much in the negative way. Society and the government should look at the root causes in order to checkmate all the negative trends.

At what point did you start a family?

I have always been a very likable person and God blessed me with a good wife, who is beautiful inside-out. I  never regretted marrying her, even for a day. After my apprenticeship with my master, Mr Peter Anienwelu, I returned to my hometown, Agulu, and asked my people to look for a wife for me. I told them that I wanted a fair-complexioned woman but I didn’t have to depend on then,I  divinely found her by myself.

As a young trader managing a supermarket called Akahan Supermarket in Onitsha as of then, my business was moving very well and I felt it was high time I got married. So, I came to the village on one of my visits and I bumped into this young lady, Mary Onuekwusie Ewulu. She was very fair-complexioned and beautiful. She was on her way back home from the market. I stopped her and asked her to tell me about herself and her parents. After I had got the information I needed, I went to tell my people that I had found my wife. I married Mary Onuekwusie Ewulu in 1969. We wedded at St. Marks Ifiteani, on January 3, 1970. The union was blessed with many children.

Being a politician and businessman, how did you manage to strike a balance between family and work?

Simply by ensuring that both didn’t clash. When I was at home, I concentrated on home affairs and when I was at the business place, I faced it without letting anyone come in between.

I did not have so much challenge as a parent because my wife was on the ground to run the family effectively. She would only call my attention whenever she felt there was a need for my fatherly counsel. Our children grew up in a peaceful family setting.

I followed my parents’ footsteps in raising my children. My parents were very strict and I followed their footsteps in the area of strict training of my own children. I instilled in my children right values and also gave them only what they really needed, and not everything they asked for. I learnt the need to spend quality time with my family from my parents. They were always there for us and gave us listening ears. They shared duties to us and watched us do them well.

What do you consider some of the best virtues you have instilled in your children?

Discipline, hard work, respect for everyone and diligence.

Your son, Austin Ejide, made a name for himself by serving as goalkeeper for the Super Eagles. How do you feel about his achievement?

I am grateful to God for all my children; they are all amazing in their chosen careers. Austin Ejide took the family’s name to the world stage as a footballer and a former Super Eagles goalkeeper; it is only God that can do that.  While growing up, Austin liked playing football so much but we never saw it coming that he would become a footballer.  God made it all possible. As parents, we ensured that he was given quality education first and foremost and we allowed him to follow his interest, without forcing any career on him.

Do you have any regrets in life?

At 85, I can only thank God. I have nothing to regret in life.

At 85, looking back, is there a moment you will describe as the saddest in your journey so far?

My saddest moments in life was when my wife died and my young daughter followed shortly after. I felt so horrible and was tempted to question God, but I held onto my faith that God makes all things beautiful.

 What are you most grateful for?

The gift of life. My greatest achievement in life is my ability to have positively touched so many lives and trained many youths to be financially independent through my trade as a young man and today, I am enjoying the fruits. I do not have to wait for my biological children to care for me. My adopted, business children are doing so much for me. I am very happy that they are all doing well.

Again, I am a happy and proud father and father-in-law, as I have so many daughters-in-law and sons-in-law and with so many grandchildren. I am very happy that I still enjoy community acceptability from my youth time till now. I am very old, I consider it a rare gift from God.

Back then, the apprenticeship scheme thrived, but now, it is almost dying. What will you say is responsible for this?

The apprenticeship scheme really helped us during our time and it also lifted a lot of burdens off our parents. The success I attained today is due to the skills and training I acquired during my apprenticeship. But unfortunately, it is dying now because youths of today are impatient and the mentality of get-rich-quick has eaten deep into them. They no longer fancy the apprenticeship scheme and this is a huge moral burden on  society. I think government, parents and schools have a duty to ensure that vocational studies are introduced into the curriculum. It should be made mandatory for pupils to learn one skill or the other during holidays.

How have you managed to stay healthy and radiant at age 85?

Since my youth, I have always been a very active person and I tried not to nurse any negativity in my mind. Diligence and honesty have been my watchword, which gave me peace of mind. I believe that the secret of longevity is leading an active lifestyle and not being  desperate for anything in life.