As we totter towards Christmas and the new year there’s a natural inclination to start reflecting on the last 12 months as a whole. It’s a somewhat useful thing about the way the human mind works that we react to arbitrary deadlines and whole numbers.
Why is 07:00 a more reasonable time to set your alarm clock for than 07:04? I have no idea, but it is.
We all fail in our New Year’s Resolutions but at least we’re making them – it’s a new year! It’s only right. Few broadcast their resolutions on November 22, say, but perhaps they should. The number of times you’ve scored 50 or 100 in cricket is symbolic of greatness, rather than 110 or 57. (I propose a rebrand – call 57 a pint.) I must admit this whimsical point singularly failed to land when I offered it to Sir Alastair Cook on TNT Sports this week, but then sport is a pastime that doesn’t exist without arbitrary signifiers.
With all that in mind, welcome to the 2024 Masons. There are no rules.
I’m lucky enough to spend much of my life watching sport professionally, and I find so many moments incredibly profound and some profoundly amusing. As we close out a magical year, here are just a few.
The inaugural Most Annoyance Caused to the French Mason had many contenders this Olympic year.
Parisians were initially irritated beyond belief that sport would clog up their summer. But then Paris 2024 opened, the sun appeared, France won a stunning gold in the men’s rugby sevens and they were won over.
Which was good news, because it meant there were plenty of French fans available to boo Tom Pidcock when he recovered from a 36-second deficit after puncturing to beat magnificent Frenchman Victor Koretzky to mountain bike gold.
The unbelievable move that roused the ire of locals saw Pidcock take the inside line while descending aggressively and brilliantly a minute from the finish. The two men came together but Pidcock remained in complete control as he backed up his Tokyo gold.
Across town we found one of the retirements that would enable 2024 itself to win Year of the Significant Retirement. Sir Andy Murray played his last match in professional tennis in characteristic fashion when he and Dan Evans saved an astounding five match points to defeat Japan in an Olympic doubles match that had everything we’ll remember of Murray.
Though he couldn’t make the medal stages and give us the fairytale we craved, he hammered home what his sport has been to him and why he led us, time and again, to believe in the impossible.
Jimmy Anderson took his 700th Test wicket in India at the start of the year, a ludicrous achievement for a fast bowler, and earned his final cap at Lord’s, before downing a Guinness in six seconds for his adoring crowd.
King of Clay Rafa Nadal also bowed out last month, his achievements incomprehensible. And Gary Lineker exited MOTD, to surprisingly vigorous speculation that suggests television is healthy still.
Speaking of the impossible, the big-name contenders for Commitment to the Method Despite Overwhelming Evidence Flexibility is Needed are so intimidating that the judging panel has, in a moment of weakness, divided the prize three ways.
Ange Postecoglou, Pep Guardiola and Bazball share the 2024 award for, as the genius Michael Spicer explains, baking sponge cake for a chicken pie challenge because they are very good at sponge cakes.
Also using a tool in a way that didn’t help the task was joint-winner of Biggest Humblebrag, pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati. He’d already cleared the impressive height of 5.60metres when another disproportionately long pole conspired against him to knock off the bar. He ultimately finished 12th after launching 12 billion memes.
Ukraine’s Yaroslava Mahuchikh deployed her own special skills to better effect in the high jump. Between jumps she snuggled into a sleeping bag in track centre for a carefree nap, ultimately chilling her way to gold.
I thought England would win the Euros this year for nearly every second of the tournament – except between the 80th and 95th minutes of the last-16 tie with Slovakia.
Standing at the top of Gelsenkirken Stadium 1-0 down as full-time approached I felt as sick as I ever have as a football fan.
Minutes later, Jude Bellingham’s bicycle kick had delivered one of those reversals of fortune only sport can. I look forward to Tuchel’s men delivering 2026’s Reversal of Fortune Mason when they finally claim a major trophy, but I doubt even then we’ll come up with a moment as incredible as this.
I was also in some emotional discomfort when I saw Simone Biles in the flesh for the first time. I just hadn’t expected to find the performance so moving. By the climax of the women’s team event – Biles alone in the arena for her floor exercise – I was in floods. Seeing someone so clearly at the pinnacle of what’s possible in her discipline performing with absolute majesty hit me in a profound way.
Speaking rationally, I can also say returning to the Olympics after her mental health lay-off and delivering so emphatically was perhaps the most important moment of the year. For that, the gymnast wins Coolest Person in the World (Sport).
But Keely Hodgkinson is a close runner-up. The dominance and calmness of her display to win Olympic 800m gold felt like something from another era. It was pure steel. Like she had never felt doubt.
She says she is close to delivering the world record. You had better believe her.
MORE: Keely Hodgkinson wins BBC Sports Personality of the Year 2024
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