Aisha Buhari and her queer executive order- Femi Adeoti Column

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FEMI ADEOTI COLUMN
Ridiculous things are fast showing up. It is expected. This is their
prime time. It is laughable, comical and hysterical. All recklessly
rolled into one huge mess. Yet, we have to live with it. That is our
sordid lot. Pity!
We won’t be tired insisting. This woman does not exist in the eyes of
the law. We have searched inside and out. It’s a brick wall all the
way.
Still, we remained restless, restive but resolute. We dug deeper. We
were practically buried in the archives. We wanted it settled once and
for all.
We turned tables upside down. We burnt midnight candles of all types,
shades and colours. We went through heaps of documents, files, et al.
Now, who is this woman? What manner of lady? What uncanny audacity
inviting presidential aspirants? To do what? To a dinner as she
chooses to call it!
What is her relevance in our national life? Where is her place in the
Constitution? She is nothing to us but a housewife. Just like any
other. Simply, one among her equals. Nothing more, nothing special.
Mrs Aisha Buhari is it! She is wife of President Muhammadu Buhari. But
she refused to let it end there. She went an extra mile. And that is
the crux of the matter.
She deliberately acted as “Nigeria’s First Lady” (whatever that means
to her) the other day. She detested being addressed ordinarily. Not
even as wife of a President. So also those before her. It didn’t start
today, not even yesterday. But none of her predecessors dared do what
she did recently.
We all knew it was cheap bait. Some of the aspirants could not read
between the ugly lines. They lacked that needed discerning spirit at
that critical moment.
Aisha played a fast one on them and she got away with it. She explored
and exploited their desperation. And it worked wonders for her. She
feigned the guts. She was far away out of her borders. She pretended
to be daring and unperturbed.
So, from her cosy Aso Rock advantage, she fired the salvo. She
summoned ALL presidential aspirants to herself in the Villa. Vice
President Yemi Osinbajo was not spared or exempted. Imagine!
Aisha hid under Iftar, the Muslim Ramadan dinner. She wanted to break
fast with them. She needed all of them to attend. We were not told the
dire consequence(s) of ignoring her order.
She then went for their jugular. She vividly held them to ransom. That
done, she issued a second audacious “executive order.”

The summoned MUST attend without their phones. These have to be
dropped at the entranceway. Again, penalty for disobedience, Aisha
selfishly kept to herself.
They sheepishly fell for it. See how they were competing for space to
“honour” her. By their disgusting action, these ones are not fit to be
elected as our leaders.
The roll call of the attendees is awful and appalling.  By their sour
fruits, we have known them. They are the desperados in our midst. They
are principally of the APC extraction:
Former Lagos State governor, Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu; Governor Dave
Umahi, Ebonyi State; Chris Ngige, Minister of Labour and Employment;
and Governor Bala Mohammed, Bauchi State (PDP).
These ones also attended in whatever capacity that suited their
bruised ego: Governor Nasir el-Rufai, Kaduna State; Godswill Akpabio,
Minister of Niger Delta Affairs; Yakubu Dogara, former Speaker, House
of Representatives and Chief Barnabas Gemade, former national
chairman, PDP. Many more came in various shades and moulds.
But the wise ones among them avoided the dinner like a plague. We
commend them for defying Aisha. They are certainly worth the salt. The
Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), expectedly, populated the list:
Ex-President Goodluck Jonathan, former Vice President Atiku Abubakar,
former Senate presidents Bukola Saraki and Anyim Pius Anyim. Others
governors included Aminu Tambuwal (Sokoto), Nyesom Wike (Rivers) and
Udom Emmanuel (Akwa-Ibom).
Not left out were ex-Governors Peter Obi (Anambra), Ayodele Fayose
(Ekiti), publisher Dele Momodu and Sam Ohuabunwa among others.
Osinbajo led the pack of APC members who shunned Aisha’s dinner.
Governor Yahaya Bello (Kogi) did the same. So also Rotimi Amaechi,
Minister of Transportation, Chukwuemeka Nwajiuba, Minister of State
for Education and Timipre Sylva, his counterpart in Petroleum.
That some aspirants gave her a hearing acutely beats one’s
imagination. It was upsetting and disgusting. What weird precedent
were they striving to set? That was out of place. It was beyond her
business as a housewife.
What was the basis of her directive? On what authority was the
instruction? It was built on nothingness and should not stand.
This housewife is just messing up big time. Her action was an
abomination. This is a serious matter. It’s not meant for the “other
room.”
Aisha’s so-called executive order ignited outrage across the land. It
was naturally expected. It opened a floodgate of instant heat on
Buhari’s wife. It was horrendous, coming like raging torrents.
One Peter Ameh looked Aisha straight in the face: “I see it (the
summon) more or less as a comic relief otherwise.” On spot! That’s
exactly what it is.
He urged her to re-direct her effort, if she is sincere enough: “The
sector of the electoral process to put pressure on should be the INEC.
The ability and capacity of the commission to organise credible
elections is more important than whatever dialogue the wife of the
President must have made.”
But one queer creature opted to be odd. He chose to deodorise his
“first lady.” The attempt failed woefully. It collapsed even before it
could stand. A mission unaccomplished! It was a warped reasoning of a
comedian.
Director-general, Voice of Nigeria (VON), Osita Okechukwu, was
delighted Aisha did what she did. He was excited and he displayed it.
He told Daily Sun: “Sincerely, I highly commend Her Excellency, Dr
Aisha Buhari, for hosting presidential aspirants of all the political
parties. It is uncommon height of statesmanship, patriotism and
revival of ageless doctrine of politics without bitterness, espoused
by Alhaji Waziri Ibrahim of blessed memory.”
Then the very height of sycophancy and bootlicking: “Her Excellency is
a rare bird, she wasn’t partisan.”
Aisha glaringly flew a poor kite. It could not fly the distance. It
only stirred the hornet’s nest. She called the shots for the wrong
reason. She did it with reckless abandon and demonstrated ignominy.
Buhari’s wife asked for it. And trust Nigerians, it was not in short
supply. It couldn’t have been. Let’s pretend to admire her bizarre
audacity to insult the aspirants.
She did it purportedly as our “First Lady.” Awkward label it is. We
don’t have one. And we are not thirsty for one either.
Aisha’s “executive order” was an absurdity carried too far. What
manner of ‘first lady’! What portion do we have in the wife of the
President?
Actually none.


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