I won’t let transphobia stop me from being a professional darts player

As soon as I put in a 180 – the highest score possible with three darts – shortly followed by the 110-close that I practice daily, the match was called.

I had just become the first transgender person to win the New Zealand Women’s Open in July 2022 – and I was elated.

To win such a prestigious tournament felt life-changing. My prize? To play in the women’s world championships in the UK, starting this weekend.

Unfortunately, immediately after my victory, the yelling, screaming and protesting from spectators intensified.

By the final of this particular darts tournament, I had listened to 13 hours of barracking and shouting. People were angry that I was a trans woman competing in a women’s tournament.

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In fact, the day after my victory, I was given an escort to my car with the trophy and prize money as people were very angry I’d won.

Adversity like this is something I’ve faced my whole life.

I was born in Luton in the UK and my dad used to play darts all the time. He never taught me, but aged seven, I would hang around the clubs and pubs and throw there. I couldn’t count up, but I could hit what I was going for.

I grew up in a strict house. I was taught never to show emotion, so it was really difficult to express myself.

My dad really did rule the house with an iron fist. If he didn’t like something, he would let everyone know about it. I watched him sort people out just for having a different point of view to him.

There was a naive close-mindedness. He should have been more accepting and open but he never was. With my darts, I was always looking for that ‘well done’ from my dad that I never got.

We left for South Africa when I was 12 and I started playing darts properly – so from 1984 onwards. Then I went back to the UK in 2000, which is where I met my wife when she was travelling and she asked me to move to New Zealand with her.

We got married in 2006 and had two children, but we divorced in 2012.

In 2018, my father passed away. This felt like my time to get out from the oppression I had been under and move forward with my life.

So I hung up my darts as I was struggling with my gender identity and knew I wouldn’t be accepted to play as my true self. I was depressed and unhappy, so stripped everything back in my life that could be causing me to feel so sad and ended up seeing my true self.

Thankfully, when I stopped running from everything in my life that made me unhappy and turned and embraced who I was, my life got better.

The next year, I came out as a transgender woman. My life was now on a new path and I could start living as myself instead of for everyone else and who they thought I should be.

I’ve always treated my kids like adults and never hide anything from them. As a result, they’re absolutely amazing. They are so supportive, because they’ve seen the changes in me.

I’m not so angry and depressed anymore and they see a much nicer, happier person that they enjoy being around. And that’s a big difference.

My son played darts against me a few times and has won on his own merit. I tell him he played well and I’ll give him a high five for a good shot.

In 2021, I made enquiries to the darts body about coming back to play professionally and that’s when it got rocky with everybody.

I came back into my first women’s pro competition and walked into a dart hall of hundreds of people who were warned I was coming. Everyone already had an opinion by the time I got there. It felt like I walked into a hornet’s nest.

I was nervous and felt uncomfortable. I was playing people I knew and most were not very nice to me and were very outspoken and unhappy that I was playing as my true self.

The New Zealand Darts Council has been unbelievably supportive. In some tournaments, we play in large halls and I can end up playing on a board where hostile people can keep making nasty comments. Referees and tournament directors keep me close so people can’t be abusive. Darts has a zero bullying policy.

Unfortunately, not every national darts organisation has been so supportive. Clubs New Zealand Darts Association didn’t have a transgender policy in place, so I challenged them because I’m legally identified as a female by New Zealand law and they couldn’t identify me as anything else.

Instead of being inclusive, they just banned me. I was devastated.

Thankfully, I was still allowed to compete in the New Zealand Women’s Open. But the negative reaction to my win tarnished it for me because people felt I didn’t deserve to be there.

I even had close friends who supported me through my journey questioning me about why I was competing against women as I haven’t had any surgeries. What difference does that make? I don’t play darts with my genitals.

They said I had an advantage because I am taller and stronger. I can see no evidence that is true. British player Phil Taylor is only 5’8” and he’s 16 times world champion.

It’s a skills game that’s based on hours of practice and refining technique, but it’s a mental game too. If I was so dominant, I would win every single tournament I’ve walked into – but I don’t.

Most of the women darts players have been really supportive and the others are starting to come around. 

There’s only three transgender darts players in New Zealand that I’m aware of and I only know of one other in the world.

Noa-Lynn van Leuven is a Dutch player and we chat all the time. We both have very similar stories – losing friends and families by being ourselves.

Sadly, some people just don’t understand. If they want to take time, that’s fine. But if you’re going to support, support wholeheartedly – not just when it suits.

I feel I have a fair chance at winning the World Championships as anyone else who has qualified on their own merit.

I am looking forward to playing and really want to show the world we are all human and deserve to be treated the same as anyone else.

As told to Laura Cooke.

Victoria Monaghan is playing at the WDF Women’s World Championship at Lakeside Country Club, Frimley Green, 2-10 December.

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