Sometimes, I wake up and weep over the stories I heard and the cases I dealt with the day before. The story of a man or woman who is now old and is abandoned by the children he/she spent their whole life raising.
The children became an adult, got married and moved away from the family house and they never looked back. Some of the children in this generation can be so selfish and unforgiving sometimes over petty family squabbles.
I spent my early years in Nigeria and self-sponsored myself to the UK. I have spent the last 33 years in the UK and counting. I was on the floor. I was on the dunghill. Life was terrible but it is getting better. So I mixed with the poor and the rich. I have been a pastor for close to 21 years and have been a lawyer for longer than that. I feed on people’s private information which they voluntarily share with me. Please hear me out.
I want to appeal as an elderly immigrant in the UK to fellow African immigrants, let, your children know where you come from. Take them to your country of origin. Take them to your old schools. Take them to some rich suburbs. Take them to the ghetto. Let them know that the UK is not the world. Once these children grow up here, they will not remember that they are Africans. Most of them! Their mentality is unusually narrow and rigid.
It is okay now. You are young. Everything is working. You are making money. Your favourite holiday destination is America, Canada, Mainland Europe, Dubai, Turkey and the rest but your home country is a no-go area. You are a careless parent. You will find out as you grow older that you need your country. You need your people. You will be lonely and frustrated.
For example, if you are from Nigeria like me, you will realize that there is no place like home. I can afford to travel anywhere in the world but my experience of Nigeria is unique. I was there five times last year. There is serious hardship there and there is also abundance. Being among your people is different. Positioning makes the difference.
There is suffering in the UK and there is also discrimination based on race and colour. There is also stylish suppression. It takes a strong will to succeed here. I can tell you that from experience. What is making you happy today will soon become burdensome.
Many old people who spent their life and resources raising their children are confined to an old people’s home at the end of their lives. They approach me to write their will but they spend the majority of their time with me talking of their regrets. They said their children did not look back and they think like English people. They also confess that it was their fault because they did not let them know about Africa, did not say anything good about their country of origin and they did not take them home once. What a shame!
Hear me younger people, no matter how rich you are in the UK, have a property in a secure area in your home country that you can take your children to from time to time. Talk to them about your country. I do that with young Africans including my children. They came back to thank me. Don’t get carried away. Things do change.
Whilst reading this, you may embrace it or dismiss it but don’t discard this post. May you remember me with thanksgiving in your heart tomorrow.
Dele Olawanle is my name. I write and speak to make lives better. If you have been inspired, follow me for more brain-jangling writings.
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